Yumi Chiaki's Magic Box

Pernah denger saya cerita tentang nopel KG?
Pernah denger saya janji buat nge-post nopel KG?
Yaahhh... kali ini emang bukan nopel KG sih...
Hanya lamunan dari salah satu karakter yang kebetulan punya saya di nopel itu... wkwkwkwkXD
Cerita ini juga spin-off dari nopel KG yang asli, cerita asli dari otak saya.
Karakter juga asli dari otak saya.
Dan post saya kali ini bakal berbagi sama kalian semua soal curhatan Adit yang terinspirasi dari lagu Because of You -nya Kelly Clarkson^^ love the song very much!XD
Selamat Menikmati^^

I will not make the same mistake as you did

I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery

I will not break the way you did you fell so hard

I've learned the hard way to never let it get that far

I stared to my parents.

They were arguing and fighting and yelling and slapping and snapping to each other.

My mother,

She was crying in desperation.

"This is enough for me! I'm happier with Raffi than with you, you know that?!"

My father,

He was very furious and angry. And desperate, too.

"Then just go! Go to that Greenleaf man so you can take all of his profit! The only thing that you want is money, right?"

And I,

well, I'm just a kid.

I'm only 6, but I know what will happen to my family.

It will break, I thought to myself.

And it happened.

My parents were getting divorce.

My mother was still crying while she hugged me.

"Come with Momma, Adit, I will take care of you."

I didn't know how to answer that.

Deep down in my heart, I know that this was my mother's fault.

Or that Greenleaf man, I guessed.

But I really wanted to come with her.

It was my father who answered it.

"No. He will be in my responsibility. I will raise him to become my successor, to be a great man.

At least, I will make sure that he won't fell into woman's trap like me."

Because of you

I never stray too far from the side walk

Because of you

I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt

Because of you

I found it hard to trust not only me but everyone around me

Because of you

I'm afraid

Who was it?

Was it really my father?

My father who always loved me and my mother,

All that I can see was a monster.

A monster without feelings.

No, this was not a connotation.

My father banished all of his emotion.

He lost his feeling, but his mind remained.

He said that those were rubbish.

It seemed he wasn't satisfied yet,

My father changed me.

He made me vanished

Then, he created another monster.

Me.

I shivered when his voice poured into my ears.

"Raditya,

You are my son, you are just as great as I am.

Your life must be perfect.

You have to be like me.

I'm success. I'm happy. I'm wealthy

Without love.

I don't even remember what love is.

Oh, yes. I still remember.

Love is a lie.

Love is only saying sweet silly words at all.

You don't need love. You don't need to love.

Emotions are rubbish.

Rubbish place is garbage can.

You know garbage can, don't you?

It's smelly. Stink rubbish.

So, wrap the rubbish called emotions in you,

and throw it into the garbage can.

And NEVER think to take it again.

It will make you smelly."

That was what I learned.

My father succeeded,... a half.

I wasn't a complete monster.

I still had a few rubbishes in myself.

Anger.

Ambition.

Challenge.

and... Pain.

I could feel them, though my father didn't know it.

He was very proud of me.

"Genius, son. You're incredible."

He said that when I didn't know what this great thing in me was.

I lose my way and it's not too long before you point it out

I cannot cry because I know that's weakness in your eyes

I'm forced to fake a smile, a laugh every day of my life

My heart can possibly break when it wasn't even whole to start with

I maybe was still six years old.

But I could tell,

I was messing, not great.

Wherever I went, I was always alone.

I never had a friend.

Well, I wasn't letting myself to have a friend.

I was drowning into my own thought.

I heard they said that I had my own world

and it was true.

My world was different with them.

My father planted in my mind,

that my world is more intellect than other people.

That made me feels so distant.

Whatever I did, I had to be perfect.

I shouldn't do any mistakes.

It became my burden.

As a child, I never cried.

I wouldn't cry although my heart was much messed.

Because I looked that hollow in my mother's eyes when she cried.

She felt like suicidal.

Maybe I hated my life,

but I still appreciated it.

I wouldn't give my heart more sorrow.

It was enough, I thought.

Because of you, I never stray too far from the sidewalk

Because of you, I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt

Because of you, I found it hard to trust not only me but everyone around me

Because of you, I'm afraid

But, God talked differently.

I was 10 years old when I was in the sixth grade of elementary school.

My father insisted to take me to a course.

Actually I thought it wasn't needed.

National exams... I could handle it easily.

And I know my father thought so, too.

But he insisted.

So, I did it.

There, I saw a girl.

She had brown long hair, a little wavy.

Her eyes were deep brown and it showed some intelectual.

I knew from her eyes that she could compare my brain.

Uh--oh.

She stared at me with a frown.

I stared back at her.

That time I was sure that she was just an ordinary girl.

As time passed,

I realized something.

She was not that ordinary. I knew I was right.

She was incredible.

That was the first time I met someone who was as bright as me.

Her grades were amazing.

Sometimes she even beat me.

Was she coming from the same world as me? A friend to me?

But I was wrong.

She was not like me. She was different from me.

She had friends.

She was free to laugh and smile.

She showed many expressions of feeling in her eye.

She was nothing like me.

That stabbed my heart.

I felt lonely again.

I was... afraid to trust everyone again.

I couldn't trust anyone. I promised.

But, I knew my heart always told me that the brown-haired girl was different.

Especially the way she looked at me.

It was... I didn't know.

I couldn't describe it.

I don't know what it is.

Every time I saw she looked at me with that feeling in her eyes,

it reminded me of my parents.

Not when they argued. No.

But before they argued and divorced.

I remembered how my mother looked at my father

with the exactly same stare with those brown eyes.

It felt so... soft.

And caring.

It continued until now.

Now I am nineteen years old.

Now I am the best college student of Science-Chemistry Division.

Now I am still the same me as 9 years ago.

I am going to be as success as my father.

But now I have some feelings.

And I have a best friend now.

His name is Gin Silkwood. He is the rector of the university I study now.

My father supports this friendship of mine.

Why ?

Beacuse my father thinks that Gin is an excellent asset for his self.

A twenty-three years old successful rector of the biggest university in this country.

One of three Silkwood Corporation’s heirs and heiress, and he is the main heir.

Of course my father likes him.

Only for his own good.

About that brown-eyed girl,

The way I look at her, now it is changed.

It is almost the same with her.

Maybe not soft, but I care.

Now I'm starting to understand what it is, because I feel it, too.

I love her.

Just as big as her love for me.

And we know it each other.

But, you know what?

I'll tell you her name.

Rafashea Salwa Greenleaf.

Oh, yes, you are right.

She is a Greenleaf.

She is a daughter of the man who steals my mother from me.

And that makes me standing in my position right now.

My father died several months ago.

Then after his funeral, my mother insisted to take care about me.

She asked me to live with her in her husband house.

Then she introduced me to my step sister, her husband's daughter.

Bang. Bang. Bang.

Rafashea is my sister now.

Let's call her Shea for short.

Since I move to my new house, I never see her smile.

Correction.

I never see her true smile again.

The worst part is that she will be a wife soon.

She will be a wife of my own best friend, Gin Silkwood.

For her family business.

I can see that she is not happy with this decision.

And I can do nothing about it.

I am still afraid.

Well, correction again.

My monster side is very afraid.

I watched you die, I heard you cry, every night in your sleep

I was so young, you should have known better than to lean on me

You never thought of anyone else, you just show your pain

And now I cry in the middle of the night for same damn thing

I want to yell at the world,

that all of this is my parents' fault.

And Shea's father's, too.

My father became a monster because of my mother.

He insisted me to throw all my emotions,

changed me to be a creature with no feelings like him

That's his entire fault I can do nothing.

I'm being trapped into a confusing feeling,

and frustrating situation like this.

I don't know what to do.

They never teach me how to handle a situation like this.

I'm screaming into my pillow.

My head is aching.

This is very frustrating.

I feel my longing for her is demonstrating inside me.

My eyes are burning.

This is the first time I cry for my entire 13 years.

I will not blame others anymore.

It's enough this time.

I'll take it all myself.